I was wrong. I think.
My group of friends... isn't a stereotypical group of people. Most schools and places have the standard groups of people that everywhere has- jocks, preppy girls, nerdy guys, nerdy girls, band geeks all that-
I don't know 100%, but based on stereotypical things like that, I really can't say we fit into the standard.
I guess you could call us those people who sort of watch the rest of the socialsphere from the outside and judge it like we're involved. Now, I didn't always think it was like that. But with recent drama going on with my friends, I'm starting to think that more and more.
I was starting to feel like my friends were sort of buddying up and everyone sort of had a "best friend" in the group who they were extra close to, even though we were all really close. My conflict was, I felt like everybody else in my group of friends did, and I had nobody like that. I was starting to feel... optional. Like when we all went to go hang out, I wasn't the first to get called. I wasn't necessary.
I have my own issues, however, and I was thinking to myself maybe I'm just overreacting and stressing out about something that I'm just blowing out of proportion. But no matter how much I told myself that, I continually felt left out and strange... it didn't feel like it had in the past.
So, just to have some sort of closure on the situation, I decided to test it on someone who I thought I could trust and go to in confidence to see how they reacted if I tried to explain myself. What I got was the biggest explosion of rude judgmental behavior thrown in my face. I was hurt and I didn't know what I wanted to do.
I still don't know what I did to be treated like that. I made up with my friends, but the feelings haven't gone away. Everything is a song lyric I guess, though. I try to invest myself in things like the album so I don't have to focus on worrying myself over something that still could potentially be nothing. I hope I didn't hurt anyone I care about.
No comments:
Post a Comment